Photo courtesy of cramkiss
Dear Carrie,
My partner thinks that my job is a total joke, but I happen to love it. Do we have a future, or should I just hope that the economy takes care of both of our jobs and leaves our love?
Dear Ambiguously Partnered,
First A.P., I’d like to take a line or two to establish a key for this entry. Since you’ve given me no clues as to the gender of this partner of yours and I would resent having to type he or she, his or her, him or her every time I want to refer to this person, I’m making your partner a woman and going with girlfriend instead of wife. Also, I feel safe assuming that if your girlfriend thinks your job is a joke, then you aren’t in a profession that’s deemed universally useful, so for the remainder of this response, you’re line of work will be lion tamer. If this is inaccurate or offends you in any way, you have only yourself to blame. Moving on.
A.P. this goes not only for you, but also for anyone else reading, unless you are working as a clown, a stand-up comic, or a Blue Dog in the U.S. House of Representatives, your job is not a joke. It is, in fact, your girlfriend who is the joke for not respecting the fact that you are a person who is drawing a paycheck in this economy. As I write this, the national unemployment rate is 9.7% the highest it’s been since 1982. Based on a little unofficial polling that I’ve conducted, the percentage of people who are employed in this country who actually love their jobs is, coincidentally, also 9.7%. What I’m saying is, you’re living the dream.
Look, there are only so many positions available for folks whose dream it is to insult people while simultaneously helping them, or for astronauts, or lion tamers. Just about everyone else spends 40 hours a week in a cubicle or trying to sell something that people can no longer afford or, if you live in Columbus, OH, building luxury condos that no one will ever move into. If nearly 10% of the potential workforce is out of work and only 10% of those employed love their jobs, then that leaves 81% to be homicidally jealous of you. I’m assuming that’s what’s happening here. Don’t let the crappy economy and mood that it’s putting everyone in get in the way of any future that you and your girlfriend might have. Try to see things from her point of view. You have this amazing job where you get to do what you love, and chances are if she’s working at all, she’s had to settle for her plan b (or more likely plan c or d).
Just as it can be hard on a relationship if one person is miserable at work and lets that carry over into her home life, so too can it add stress to a relationship if one person is over the moon about her job and is constantly reminding her partner how great said job is. For example, when I started responding to your question, I thought I loved having an advice column, but the more I think about you getting to hang out with lions all day long, the more I realize just how unimpressive what I’m doing here is. Frankly, I sort of want to be a dick to you now too. I can just imagine how your girlfriend with her plan d career feels every time you come home bragging about which lion’s mouth you had your head in that day.
